When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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