Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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