I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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