He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
