And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
