fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
