I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
