some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
