i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
