and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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