lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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