i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
never play flip cup with pint glasses
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
