So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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