Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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