We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
