You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
