Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
