i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
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my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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