She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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