It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
