Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
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