He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
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He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
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I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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