She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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