Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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