Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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