Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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