Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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