Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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