so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
