I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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