decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
