The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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