My brain says no but my pants say off.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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