he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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