I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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