Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
