yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
