Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

Thursdays are my worst days

(1-416): View more from Ontario

but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger

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(817): View more from Texas

how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?

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(404): View more from Georgia

it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men

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(985): View more from Louisiana

My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.

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(626): View more from California

How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.

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(957): View more from

I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy

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(248): View more from Michigan

Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size

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