I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize