uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
