So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
