I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
