just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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