you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Randomize
