you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
