She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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