Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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