I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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