Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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