i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
