I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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