last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
he fucked my hip out of place.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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