Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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