Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
apparently the secret to your success is patron
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Randomize
