You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
