Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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