Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
