3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
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Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
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My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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