it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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