I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
