Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
