i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize