It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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